#triFABBsws

I did it. I went, I mingled, and I made some connections. Y’all, it was seriously out of my comfort zone. The entire time I was struggling not to compare myself. I don’t feel like the “typical” blogger… I don’t always present my best- on purpose. I bare my heart and soul on this little site. Last night, as people were asking for my blog name/site I was hit with just how transparent I am here… and it was scary to give people my URL and ask them to visit. Even though it was out of my comfort zone, it made me realize that my blog is unique because I am unique. I don’t have a “typical” blog, because it is about me, and there is no one quite like me. I think that is a good take-away.

invite

My first TriFABB meet up was pretty awesome… we got a preview of the fashion show, enjoyed a meal from PDQ (seriously impressed) and got some free meal tickets (so we get to go back!), they had wine tasting from Little Black Dress Wine (I was too nervous to sample but totally wish I had), a tour of the whole building and got an overview of the kinds of booths that would be available (all kinds of shopping was represented- home, beauty, clothing, you name it and seriously it’s going to be there), and got some pretty rocking swag bags. These bags had everything including beauty samples, a bottle of wine, mini bundt cakes, coupons… so much!

wpid-img_20150424_075220.jpg

So, did I meet my goal? Yes. I made several connections, I introduced myself, I went. Did I compare myself? Yes… and then talked myself down. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it was going to be… y’all, I have to be honest some people were really hard to start conversations with. I found myself frustrated with the incredible presence of technology. Isn’t that funny? I’m on a blog complaining about technology? Nevertheless, it’s how I felt. I find it intimidating to try to talk to people who are clicking around on their phones.

11149433_763037340483003_2151214007562836774_n

I have already touched on it, but I found myself feeling very conflicted. My Facbook and my Instragram are private… I don’t let a lot of people in. Yet, I’m posting my heart and soul on this blog. What are my internet boundaries? How am I going to navigate this blogging world? I’ve already established that my blog is not like everyone else’s, so just how different am I going to be? These are things I’m thinking about, but I’d love to hear your thoughts.

 

Dear Josh,

Basically you win the husband award. Thanks for going with me to the blogger meet up. I’m so thankful that you are supportive of all my interests! (And I’m sorry that you ended up hanging out with the PDQ servers because they were the only men in the house… I did warn you.)

signature.bird

Anticipation

Some days it is just especially hard to go to work and have to leave Josh. Yesterday, I was really bummed to be at work. I was busy, and I was definitely not bored, but I was bummed. Do you know what I mean? I started focusing on all the things we have to do in the coming weeks, and I started telling myself I couldn’t do it. I started that dangerous list of “if I weren’t working my tail off in this office I could get SO many other things done…”
Like I said, that’s dangerous.

Through an unexpected course of events, Josh was able to come meet me for a lunch date. We walked over to Olive Garden and enjoyed the classic soup/salad/bread-sticks. It was SO wonderful to spend a date together in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week. I often feel so lame on date night. I come home to spend time with my love and I’m exhausted. Instead of him getting my best, my best has gone to work all day… and I hate that. I think our lunch date was especially refreshing because we got to spend time with each other during our best time of day.

Part of the reason I wanted to do a lunch date out is because I  didn’t want to be out two nights in a row. Maybe you don’t know this about me, but I find social gatherings really intimidating. It takes a lot of energy for me to prepare for them, and I usually dread it until I’m there. For instance, we have the blogger meet up tonight and I’m super stoked… I’m also super nervous. Josh said it’s like going on a first date. THAT IS EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS. I don’t know what to expect, I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing or be stupid and that is just silly. It’s also silly to think that none of them will want to associate with me because I have a tiny blog where I just talk about real life and my feelings. Maybe I’ll be miserable tonight, or maybe I’ll make some friends. Maybe I’ll feel uncomfortable, or maybe I’ll own it. I think it’s more of a choice than I have been telling myself. Only I can choose what I’m saying to myself, and if I’m telling myself that I am a lame blogger, a social outcast, and that no one will want to be my friend because I’m a little sweaty (#hyperhydrosis) then that is a choice… and a poor choice, if I do say so myself.

So, I’m wearing one of my favorite dresses, I’m taking my favorite man, and I’m going to make some friends. And if I don’t- that’s fine! The simple fact that I am GOING is a big deal… and I’ve already accomplished something by deciding to do so.

invite

The other things I have planned tonight are just way too exciting, so brace yourself: packing and trimming the fat off of chicken. I told you… way too exciting. We’re going to visit my family this weekend, and we’re leaving straight from my work tomorrow which means I have to be prepared for the weekend!

Tomorrow I’ll give you an update on how the meet up went. 🙂 I really am excited!!!

If you were wondering, we spent our date last night working on the last season of Parks and Rec, and then watching American Idol. My husband is just wonderful. It was refreshing to spend so much time with him yesterday, and for it to be so low-key.

 

Dear Josh,

I was tickled pink we got to have a lunch date yesterday! It was so much easier to work through the afternoon because I was so encouraged by an hour of quality time (and soup let’s be honest) with you. Thank you for being willing to tag along with me tonight! You very well might be the only man in attendance… but I’m glad you’re coming.
See you at 5!

signature.bird

 

 

 

 

PS
Facebook friends, I know most of you come here by clicking my links I post on my personal profile… well I created a page for my blog… check it out at www.facebook.com/dearjoshblog!
I will probably start posting my blog links there, and you can receive notifications by hitting “Like” and then “Get Notifications.”

 

 

Blogging News & Book Reviews

In case you missed it on Facebook, or haven’t seen the button on the bottom of the page, I just joined a group of bloggers (Triangle Area Bloggers)! I’m now listed in the directory, and pretty super stoked about it. I was processing some things with Josh, like the fact that I was looking into getting my own blog domain. Suddenly, I felt so… lame. A million thoughts flew through my mind… am I trying too hard? I barely have any readers, why would I actually invest money in this? Is this even worth while? These are my thoughts… no, I’m not trying too hard. I don’t feel this way about my crafting, my sewing, my baking, or my cooking. I’m not “trying too hard.” I’m expressing myself, enjoying it, and the blog was for me in the first place! I’m excited to share it all, but I need to remind myself that this blog was for me to enjoy.

I used to think that if I knew something I didn’t have to keep repeating it… like… the Gospel. However, something that I absolutely L-O-V-E about my church is that they repeat it all the time. The Gospel is the reason that we live. I think that’s a good thing to repeat and recount. Maybe it has gotten old to you readers (PS I don’t care- see paragraph above 🙂 ), but I have been rehearsing daily truths, and have greatly benefited from it. (See examples, below.)

I must admit things, because this is a place where I do that. All those wonderful ideas I had painted for Monday night… they just did not happen. We didn’t have enough alfredo for the three of us (I really should have opened that deceptively full container and looked before I made plans), so one of us had alfredo, one of us had sandwiches, and one of us had a quesadilla. I didn’t feel good, sooooo I basically went from watching American Idol on the couch, to watching Grey’s Anatomy in bed. The laundry remained in a pile.

A funny thing happened the other morning. I have a few pairs of pants hanging in the closet, two of which I can currently wear, and two of which I really can’t. Well, on a day I was particularly sleepy and bloaty (go with it, it can be a word) I pulled the wrong size of pants out of the closet…. but I thought I pulled the ones that fit. I WAS SO VERY CONFUSED. Not upset, not distraught, but confused. I figured it out, laughed at myself, and went on with my day. Later, I shared the story with Josh and I could tell, from his response, that he thought I was really beating up on myself. I assured him that I wasn’t. I have gotten such a confidence boost from just eating better, drinking more water, and meeting my step goals. I told him I want to be the healthiest, best version of me… not the skinniest. I have learned, over the past year plus of marriage, that I am really good at taking care of other people… but I am really bad at taking care of myself. I don’t say nice things to myself, I don’t put on nice clothes for fun, I don’t treat my body like it’s worth taking care of. So, that is all stopping. Instead of saying, “I’m not sure I can pull off the chambray today…” I said “you know what? THIS is what I want to wear… and I may think it looks better on so-and-so, but that doesn’t mean I can’t feel good wearing it.”

There are two things I have really been enjoying lately: one is a book and one is a game. The game is Carcassonne. You may recall that I downloaded it for free last week on Kindle! I LOVE IT. It is just so fun to play the game whenever I want, and wherever I want!

onelastthing

Now, I am a self-proclaimed book-worm…. but if I’m honest, it’s been a long time since I have actually finished a book -the last book I read was “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)” by Mindy Kaling and it was hilarious…. I highly recommend it! I don’t think that will be the case for long… I have been lost in the book “One Last Thing” by Rebecca St. James and Nancy Rue. It is a tough subject, but a really good read. If you don’t know, I have been a huge fan of Rebecca St. James… since forever. I know every song, my walls were covered in RSJ posters, and I thought I was going to pass out from excitement when I got to meet her (twice). I have so much respect for her, and I still love her music… and now I’m enjoying all things RSJ on a new level: fiction. The book is set in the South, and the main character is around my age, and finds out a few weeks before her wedding (in December) that her fiance is addicted to pornography. All those details make it so easy for me to put myself in the main character’s shoes… and it is absolutely heartbreaking. Knowing Rebecca, this is going to be such an awesome story of God’s healing. She has been a huge advocate for purity (bash her songs all you want, but she’s my hero)… and this book advocates for it in a whole new way. This isn’t Rebecca’s first fiction novel, but it’s the first I’ve read… her others are on my “to read” list. What are you reading? Any suggestions?? We have a loooong road trip coming up in May, so I’m trying to gather some new options!

Tonight is date night, and we haven’t decided where we’re going. We will either use a giftcard, or we’ll go to Panera. (As you gathered, I am the indecisive one here.) Our March budget was a little tight, which is fine- we have a lofty goal for paying off some student loans. This morning I’m pretty set on Panera…. so we shall see! Otherwise, we’re hitting Target to do that return and watching some Parks and Rec. We have another date on Saturday, and that one will be a little more adventurous!

 

Dear Josh,

Thank you for supporting my blogging hobby. It’s been so fun to be excited about it with you, and to have you proof the posts. I know you’re biased, but it is so encouraging that you think I’m a good writer and that you enjoy my posts. I have loved reading this book, as you know, and I have been filled with thankfulness that you have striven for purity. I am so proud of the man you are, and so thankful our future children will have you as their example.

I’m excited about our date tonight (and glad that I’m not zoned out on allergy medicine this week)! Can’t wait to eat some yummy food, have some good conversations, and snuggle up for some Parks and Rec.
signature.bird