Taking Stock 01

As expected, we had a wonderful date. We went to Panera, and I was quite impressed. I got the pick 2 deal- a half chicken cobb salad with avocado and a half turkey and avocado BLT. Wonderful, wonderful! We had a really good talk about the future, and what our options are.

Right now it’s looking like the PhD, but we’re praying through it and considering all the options. It was really good to talk it out… and we processed a lot of feelings/fears/expectations we hadn’t discussed before. Even in the midst of such uncertainty, and even though tears came out of my eyes voluntarily, I’m so confident that we will be exactly where we are supposed to be. I am not worried about “missing” what God has for us… I’m just struggling to trust/understand His timing.

Next, we went to Target to do the return which should have been a completely painless experience, but I just have to be real… shopping is a little hard for me right now. Just when I feel like I’ve made a break through in confidence, I have a little attack of insecurity.

We hit Sonic on the way home for a small treat. My husband- have I mentioned he’s the best?- watched American Idol with me. And, we were both sound asleep by 10:30. No, it was not the most action-packed date night. We ate healthy food, had tough conversations, ran an errand, and ended up on the couch. Maybe this makes us old, but this was so much more romantic than a fancy dinner or a grand adventure. My husband listened to my deepest fears and concerns,  he didn’t chide me for being afraid or for crying. He was not frustrated I wasn’t more energetic. He was just there.

One of my favorite bloggers, Keira, does a Taking Stock post every once in a while. I thought it could be fun, and a good way to check in! So here it goes.

Making: sweet and sour chicken in the crock-pot, and stir fry when I get home.
Cooking: up a plan to get my house under control.
Drinking: water. SO MUCH WATER. I have been flavoring it with lemon juice or cranberry juice.
Reading: “One Last Thing” by Rebecca St. James and Nancy Rue… and I’m not rushing. I am enjoying it too much!
Wanting: to be completely and totally content.
Playing: Carcassone on my Kindle. All the time.
Wishing: the weekends were longer.
Enjoying: Norah Jones on Spotify.
Waiting: for 4 o’clock (worked through lunch so I’m leaving early).
Liking: the furniture we got for the back porch. It is so perfect, and I’m glad we get to enjoy our little outdoor space!
Wondering: how long a double batch of pancakes will feed the guys.
Loving: my new rainbow flips flops. They are so comfortable (now that they are broken in) and such a safe solution- no more slipping and sliding in my sandals! 🙂
Marveling: at how fast the grass is turning green, and how fast the flowers are popping up. Wasn’t there just snow on the ground?
Needing: some quality time with my sewing machine.
Smelling: Bath & Body Works Paris Amour.
Wearing: my favorite jeans and a long sleeve shirt with a colorful scarf. It’s casual Friday, AND FREEZING!
Thinking: about the job I had this time last year, and how miserable I was! I’m so thankful for God’s provision.
Knowing: I have a Saturday morning date with my love. I’m super excited about going out for breakfast, hitting a yard sale, and enjoying some madness!
Opening: my own closet to shop for my Easter dress.
Giggling: at the show Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
Feeling: the need to make something pretty. I think I’m going to re-work my mantle decorations and make it more springy!

 

Dear Josh,
I am coming home to you very shortly, via Dollar Tree, Michael’s, and Old Navy. I’m really excited about spending a weekend with you… and concentrating some more time just us. This work week has been long and tiring… and I’m so ready for some rest with you. And to really destroy your bracket (let’s be honest).

signature.bird

Kids and Downton Abbey

This weekend was wonderful, exhausting, and different.

Friday night I was planning on babysitting, since Josh had to concentrate intently on finishing his class. So, when Charissa asked if she could plan an overnight escape surprise with Tom I was elated- both to be part of the surprise, and to have something to do. Otherwise, I would have been at home, depressed, because Josh would be home but preoccupied. FRIDAY WAS THE LONGEST DAY EVER. I was so excited that Charissa was so excited that Tom would be so excited when he found out. Yes, lots of excitement.
I raced home, packed an overnight bag and grabbed my dinner, and headed to our friends house. Charissa and I had everything so sneakily planned that Tom had not idea. (He did not believe her when she told him!) Not going to lie, I really liked being “mom” for a night. I watched American Idol for the first time because I’ve never had the time/someone to watch with/ ability… and I cut to Hollywood week because I want to see the people that are actually going to make it. I got to scoop up that sweet little girl in the morning and feed her breakfast, read books, play with blocks… oh my gosh I had so much fun. And, as spending time with Evie tends to do, it made having kids look a lot less scary. We have lots of time yet before we have our own, but it’s always good to be reminded that it’s not all scary.

When I got home, Aaron and I enjoyed a Downton Abbey marathon. And by marathon, I mean we watched Season 1 without a break. WHAT. Oh my gosh, so much fun. Aaron has seen later seasons, but not the first season… I thought I was going to have to punch him because he kept saying things like “I don’t remember seeing THIS character later…” “Oh, so that’s what the story is… the later seasons have legends of this moment.” Not cool.

We decided to do pizza for dinner… and hung out with Josh, who had finished a long, grueling day in the library cranking out a paper.

Sunday, we had nursery duty at church. We were in the baby room, and only had 2 kids… so it was a pretty sweet deal. After church, we polished off those burritos and created a chore chart. That was SO important to me, and I think it’s going to really help. Before, I felt like I was responsible for all the cleaning. That is just not realistic. I am not home long enough to do all the cleaning! So, we sat down together and made a list of daily chores, weekly chores, and chores that are done every other week/monthly. Then we broke out the highlighters and dispersed the chores, and assigned the “weekly” chores to a specific day. Then we did our chores. Hopefully this system takes some stress of me and proves to be effective. I think that knowing what our jobs are will help us hold each other accountable to accomplish the tasks.
For the rest of the day, we hung out together. Josh and I had some really good conversation, which needed to happen, and we finished off the leftovers, I made a strawberry daiquiri, we watched a couple of episodes of 24, and a West Wing because I tend to have REALLY intense dreams if I go to bed right after watching 24. 🙂

Back at work this morning and I think everyone needs to go back to bed… and I mean everyone.

 

Dear Josh,

This weekend was lacking in “us” time. I know you’re working to fix that, and I know it will get better since Ethics is done. I’m glad I could spend time with Evie and Aaron while you were busy, since those were things I wanted to do but didn’t want to miss out on that much time with you if you were available.
THANK YOU FOR MAKING THE CHORE CHART WITH ME. It is seriously such a relief to me that everyone has their jobs, and that I don’t have to worry about it.
Also, I’m excited about having kids… one day.
I can’t wait for this work day to end.

Love, Mrs. Cornelissen

Greenville (Easley)

My heart is just bursting with joy. Why? Because little people bring me joy, and I spent the weekend thinking about and celebrating a little person who happens to be my godson. Joseph Clayton, your mommy and daddy are two of my favorite people. They are SO excited to hold you, take care of you, and teach you about Jesus. I can’t wait to meet you either… you are already so loved… but especially by your fairy godmother. (Your daddy might tell you I’m a turkey… I’m NOT. I’m your fairy godmother.)

Yes, Friday was a long day and I spent most of it with no actual work to do… so I read more about Disney World. My husband picked me up from work, and we headed to Easley to see Elise. Of course on the way there we ate sandwiches, to save time and money. (Thanks for making them, Josh!) Traveling is exhausting, no doubt…. but he is my favorite person. The best thing about road trips is being next to each other for hours on end. We ran into tons of traffic (thank you, Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill and Charlotte), got to the Gilmores late and stayed up even later.

Saturday, we started working on the nursery- spray painted a shelf, we went through gifts from showers, washed hung and folded Joseph’s clothes, organized things in piles, and framed art. After a busy morning, we had Chick-fil-a for lunch, and went to Elise’s shower! It was so fun… and not just because I won the game, which was guessing the names of nursery rhymes, and not just because there were amazing cupcakes… it was so fun to get to know some of Elise’s family, and some of Philip’s family, and to see all these people who love and are anticipating Joseph. The evening after the shower held more gift-sorting, more baby laundry, shopping (Hobby Lobby!), and grilled cheese.

Sunday, I made everyone keep working on the nursery. Not going to lie, I was pretty bossy, and felt a little bad about it (and then I reminded myself how much my friends have going on in their lives, and I wanted to do everything I could to help). After a weekend of teamwork, there is a place for the crib, the clothes are put away, everything is painted, the returns are ready to go, and things are ready to go up on the wall. Elise, I’m really not sorry for bossing you, your mom, your sister, and Josh around…. I hope it was a blessing and a relief that we were there to do the mundane tasks and that you are able to enjoy putting the finishing touches on the room.
Josh and I left around 2:30, and of course I cried all the way to Charlotte. Leaving people I love is SO hard, especially when all I want to do is help. Gilmores, whenever you need me I’ll be there (well, in about 5 hours).
I stopped crying in Charlotte because we got to IKEA! Josh had never been, and I had only been to the ones in Salzburg and Minneapolis. We had a few things on our hit list (such as spice racks and a dresser), and found more things (like the most beautiful Queen bed frame). It was super fun walking around together, although I was over-stimulated and at one point just wanted to like run out of the store because there are so many things to look at. When we got to the ware house, we had to determine what we could get based on the size of the packaging… since my Hyundai Elantra is not the largest. It was decided that we had to wait on the bookshelf and bed frame. We saw people destroying boxes and shoving pieces of furniture into tiny cars because I guess they just had to have it?… not us. We’ll be back, Ikea… with a bigger trunk.
We got home around 10, and I crashed for about 4 hours. Unfortunately, I was up most of the night and today I feel like I am getting sick. Bright spot: I brought soup for lunch. (That’s because we’re out of bread, but shhh.)

 

Dear Josh,
I’m glad we finally planned out the next month, but it is still insane. I know we’re both overwhelmed and dragging… but we’re going to take care of each other. Tonight I’m making baked oatmeal, we’ll pack our box, and you have time to get homework done.
Thanks for helping our friends this weekend- running out to get things, for doing all the laundry, and for doing all the driving… and Ikea was so much fun! I’m glad we stopped.
Love, Mrs. Cornelissen

Dreaming of a Dishwasher

Friday night came earlier than expected. My boss saw me sitting at my desk, counting down the seconds until 5pm and asked me if I was bored. As I try to be honest, I had finished all the work I could possibly do at 4, and it was 4:30. I spend a half hour trying not to blatantly stare at the clock. So I said, yes I’m bored. He responded “if you don’t have anything to do, go home! It’s been a long week and I know you don’t feel good.” (Yes, I felt like crap all week and on top of that we have two less people in our office because they quit. And I keep getting nasty phone calls about things they were supposed to do and didn’t.) So instead of leaving work at 5 on Friday, I got HOME at 5 on Friday… which is when Josh got off work, so we got to be together a whole 30 minutes early. Happy Friday to ME!!!

We had frozen pizza, took a meal to a sick friend, I did some sewing, and we watched a lot of Parks and Rec.

 

Saturday, I tried to sleep in but didn’t have much success. Josh got those heavenly donuts, and I didn’t change out of my pajamas until after noon. That’s the dream. (We’re going to leave out the part that the reason I didn’t change out of my pajamas is because I felt so sore it hurt to reach to the coffee table to get my water. Yeah.)

At 2pm, we went to view a townhouse/duplex situation that we really like. It’s about 3 miles from SEBTS, on a quiet road, in a wooded area, with plenty of parking. The home itself is completely renovated… hardwood floors downstairs, carpet upstairs. A REAL LIFE SIZE OVEN. A dishwasher. An open floor plan downstairs, 1 and ½ bath, 2 bedrooms, plenty of closet space, a small front porch and a big back porch, yard work and water included in rent… I love it. Also, the guy showing it to us told us some probably confidential information about the other people who have applied, so basically we know we’re the best candidates. I can’t lie. I’ve been shopping for kitchen tables and Pinteresting “how to decorate a mantle” (did I mention there is a fireplace?). I want this to be it. I want the search to be over. I know that if this is where we’re supposed to be, it will happen…. it just scares me how much I love this place. So, pray that we will have peace as we wait to hear, and pray that if this isn’t the place for us that we won’t be discouraged.

 

We spent the rest of Saturday spending time together and then we played board games with our friends, Tom & Charissa. It was supposed to be a guys/girls night but people couldn’t make it… so it turned into a couples night. Which was so fun. I’m so thankful for these friends.

 

Sunday, after a rough night of sleep, we got to church bright and early for nursery duty! Yes, I had to change six diapers. Honestly, it was a fair trade for being able to spend a couple of hours with those kids. I used to work in child care, and I was a nanny, and I was also a behavioral therapist… kid-centered jobs. Now I work with a bunch of people who behave like children. I’ve missed the ACTUAL children. The little girl I held spilled apple juice all over me, and I was her safety zone. If I even thought about putting her down, her world crumbled apart. One day we’ll have our own kids… meanwhile, the nursery was awesome.

 

Sunday afternoon, I watched the Browns victoriously smash the Steelers into the ground and send them home crying. I think Josh enjoyed this because I’m not good at trash talking at all but was determined to hurl insults at the tv screen, and for the obvious reason, I was watching football with him. That’s a big deal. I was actually watching it. After that excitement, I went to catch up on a tv show and left Josh to study for Greek (his midterm is on Wednesday). Then we went to the store to buy soup (my throat is killing me) and Josh made me grilled cheese, and we watched Alias until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore (umm that was until 8, and then I forced myself to stay up until 9 so I wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night).

 

My sweetheart made my lunch, so I got to sleep a little later than normal, and now I’m at work.  We’re submitting the application for the townhouse today or tomorrow, so that’s super exciting. Tonight we’re having Cincinnati chili and I will be chugging hot tea. Josh reminded me I usually get sick twice a year (I said “How do YOU know?” He looked at me, and said lovingly “I’ve known you for three years. It’s like clockwork.”), so I guess I’m doing my sick time. Hopefully it will pass soon. And hopefully the campus leaf blowers will stop blowing leaves outside my window at 6:20 am. It would really be nice if I could wake up to my alarm, not a leaf blower. Thanks.


Dear Josh,

I am so thankful for you, and the way you have taken care of me this week. I know I haven’t been a delight to take care of, but you have been so sweet. Thanks for sitting around with me and doing things for me because I felt so crappy.

Also, I am super excited that we may have found our new home. It’s SO exciting that you loved it as much as I did!!! It feels like such a huge step, and I am still sad about moving out of our first home, but there are only bigger and better things waiting.

And… I loved seeing you make all those kids laugh. My favorite part was when you crawled around and they all followed you in a line, giggling.


Love, Mrs. Cornelissen

The Shoe Doesn’t Fit

I am in a little bit of a mid-week funk. Nothing exciting is going on… just the daily grind of work, but there are plenty of things I’d like to do (as you guessed, none of the things I want to do are at work). Josh has been studying for first Hebrew exam… and I’ve been working. There is a big event for our customers this week (I am not going- my boss told me I could if I wanted to, but that he’d rather I take his place so he didn’t have to go… that’s when I said thanks but no thanks).

The past couple days at work have been super busy, which has been good, but have left me tired. Also getting up around 6 am… that has left me tired. Josh and I have been walking in the morning, until this morning because I have big old nasty blister on my heel. I need new walking/running shoes, and that is always a struggle for me. I get blisters really easily (enter: topic I don’t want to talk about, but it’s called hyperhidrosis), and stress out about buying shoes since I can’t tell if they will give me blisters… so I’m afraid of wasting money. The one pair of shoes I’ve had that didn’t give me blisters were a pair of Salomon shoes, and they have been since discontinued.

Work and walking have been things I’ve needed to do. Something I have been wanting to do is make creme brulee… basically since I saw it in my Better Homes and Gardens cookbook and realized that IT IS POSSIBLE WITHOUT A BLOW TORCH THINGY. (If it’s in that cookbook, it is possible.) But that requires ramekins… which I don’t have… and reminds me I still haven’t looked to see if my little Pyrex storage set is oven proof, because those could work.

Honestly, I’m struggling to find joy in this day. I’m tired, I miss my husband, and I feel restrained by our self-imposed tight budget (saving for the new place and working on putting money back into savings after buying the car), and I want to cook. Josh and I spent some time this weekend dreaming together. We talked a lot about kids names (train wreck- good thing we have a lot of time to think about it- Josh, October is NOT A NAME!!!!!!), and I talked about what I hope our new place is going to be like, and how nice it will be to have a table, and a place for people to stay with us… dreams. Maybe I need to dream more.

Right now I’m dreaming about fall. I’m excited for fall but this made me burst out laughing: http://www.buzzfeed.com/laraparker/things-all-basic-white-girls-do-during-the-fall#450hxck. IT IS SO TRUE YOU GUYS. Also, it’s not truly Fall until you have to wear sweaters to keep warm. At that point, when I am able to wear my brown boots and tights, I will start making my pumpkin bread and warming my pumpkin candle. If I’m not wearing a sweater and boots, it is not Fall and I don’t need anything pumpkin.

Now I’m finding joy in a future event (Fall!), but not the present. So, an exercise my mom made us do when we complained: 5 things I’m thankful for.

  1. I’m thankful that Josh went to sleep with me last night instead of staying up and doing his Greek homework.
  2. Date nights.
  3. The comfy knock-off Toms I’m wearing today. Oh, sweet comfort.
  4. We HAVE a savings account. (I hear that’s uncommon for people our age.)
  5. Homemade salsa.

Wednesdays are normally date nights, but Josh needs to study for Hebrew… so we’re having leftover pancakes for dinner, and I am spending an evening with my crafts and Netflix. (Josh is taking me out tomorrow night and I’m pretty excited.)

Finally, I usually don’t watch videos at work… but this one I did, and it made me laugh so hard. You’re welcome. http://youtu.be/K4R17EQs2dI

 

Josh,

I’m glad we’re a team. If we weren’t completely unified in this whole seminary thing, life would be even harder. I miss you. I know we’re getting into the thick of the semester, and that sometimes you need to spend more time with Greek and Hebrew than me. That’s ok… because I know you guard the time we have together. I’m looking forward to our date night tomorrow, instead of tonight, and I believe 110% that you are going blow this exam out of the water. I am so glad that I don’t have to do the boring or the hard days by myself, and that every work days ends the same: coming home to you.


Love, Mrs. Cornelissen

Disney on Ice!

Tonight was so fun. I got tickets for us to see Disney on Ice downtown (Princess Tiana, Cinderella and Rapunzel were there!) and we got dinner at 5 Guys before hand. It was such a unique date, and it was so fun to share it with you. As I looked around, all we saw were families.  It seemed like every adult there had children with them. And as I looked at you, and as you held my hand, I got so excited about our future family. You are going to be SUCH an amazing dad. I am so overwhelmed by the incredible ways you love me, and I have no doubt that our children will be incredibly loved by you.
And one day, we’ll take our family to something like Disney on Ice. 🙂

The Hobbit, Christmas Parting, ONE YEAR!!!!!!!!!

The week after finals was pretty hit and miss. We both worked a lot… we hung out on Tuesday, made lunch together and had dinner and watched some How I Met Your Mother. I made a Blueberry Breakfast Cake— it was SO good and I will definitely be making it again. At dinner, we talked about our favorite Christmas traditions and decided what we want Christmas to look like with OUR family. We’re going to rotate families for Thanksgiving & Christmas while it’s just us– but when we have kids we’re going to be home for Christmas. I loved talking with you about our future and our kids. It is so scary to me, but there is no one else I would rather have a family and raise children with. You are going to be such an awesome father.

Thursday, you left for Virginia to spend Christmas with your family. BUT before you left, we went and saw The Hobbit! It was so much fun!!! And we had lunch at Chickfila and then went to the library downtown. I was mad because you got The Dark Knight Rises to watch at home with your family… I got you a box set of the Batman trilogy for Christmas. I hope you love it. Before you left, you covered me in kisses. I love your kisses.

After you left, I was pretty bummed… so I watched a movie and searched Pinterest. I designed possible layouts for our bedroom next year, and pinned recipes for making my own dish & laundry detergent, and tons of decoration and cleaning tips. I am so excited about making a home with you.

I like these pieces. My Starry Night painting over the bed... love these curtains... and love the bed spread... but I would paint the night stands.
I like these pieces. My Starry Night painting over the bed… love these curtains… and love the bed spread… but I would paint the night stands. I like the idea of using as much stuff as we can that we already have– and thrifting to find the rest.
Option 1!
Option 1!
Option 2!
Option 2! I think I like this one more… but we’ll see!

Ummm also… WE’RE GETTING MARRIED IN ONE YEAR. I AM SO EXCITED.

Name Calling.

Autumn Marie Cornelissen.  What do you think?
Caleb James Cornelissen. Throwing stuff around here.

Other names I like… Emma. Olivia. Jacob. Daniel.
I am excited to have and raise these dreams with you.

Fall Break- Friday

Today we talked about naming our future kids while we walked on the boardwalk at Virginia Beach. We also took a kissy picture. (Got to admit, we are adorable…)

I am so excited about our future together, and stoked to raise Autumn and Caleb with you. You are going to be SUCH an awesome dad.

We had lunch with your friends– Catherine & Rachel– and spent the day playing games and hanging out with your family. Your grandpa wants to know our future plans.
In the evening, I babysat Grace & Bella. We had so much fun!! We played horses for HOURS. Seriously. Anyway, I babysat the girls so you could go out to dinner with your parents and tell them we’re planning TO GET MARRIED! I prayed for that conversation non-stop.