Back To School

We wrapped last week up, as you may remember, with a monumental loan payment. Ironically, we celebrated by spending more money. Haha. I bought a dress I’ve been watching for a while, waiting for it to go on clearance, and we bought curtains. Curtains? This is a big deal, people. Maybe you don’t know this, but I loooove floral prints. However, the wonderful man I am blessed to be married to and get to spend the rest of my life with doesn’t appreciate them quite as much as I do. He’s fine if I wear them, or have my own things in floral print, but he really doesn’t like to decorate with floral prints. Those floral lampshades in our bedroom? That was a win for Deborah, and part of Josh’s soul dying. (Over-dramatic for comedic effect.) Back to curtains….
So, our new house has a study! Josh and I both have desks in there, our bookshelves, I have plenty of craft storage, and we both have our own little corners to decorate. But… I felt I needed to involve him in the curtain decision since it is both of our spaces. You can see the curtains of compromise (as well as the dress I am anxiously tracking) below!

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Dress- Curtains of Compromise- Lilly Planner!

Last week, I tried a new recipe: mango salsa! It was my first attempt, sparked by Josh seeing mango and jalapeno salsa at Moe’s and made a comment that it sounded interesting, but can’t handle the “Hot” level salsa. How did it turn out? Honestly, I wasn’t as excited about it as I hoped it would be. Maybe I need to try it today, since the flavors have had a chance to blend… but if you are interested in trying it here’s the link. Even though it wasn’t an instant favorite, it was fun to try a new recipe, especially after the month of take out!

Josh is starting classes TOMORROW. Ahh. Yesterday, we sat down and planned out a new schedule, at least as well as we can. Weekends are filling up, homework time is being scheduled, and I’m trying to get back in the mindset that Josh isn’t as flexible as he has been all summer. He has due dates, more meetings, and our nights of Netflix will have to be spread out a little more.
Along these lines, I have ordered a planner. You may remember me mentioning my Lilly Pulitzer preoccupation. Well, I have stepped into the world of Lilly today! I ordered my first Lilly planner (see above picture) after reading raving reviews, and thinking about how nice it would be to have a physical planner I can write in again. I am such a list-maker, I think it would be good for me to have a central planning center again.

Real-talk, I have had really high expectations for myself recently, and have pretty consistently disappointed myself. So, instead of setting lofty goals and trying to accomplish everything by myself, I’m trying to ask for more help, and to set realistic goals. So, here are a few things I want to do/accomplish this week:
-Bake something.
-Have someone over for dinner.
-Unpack a few boxes.
-Hang some pictures/brainstorm where pictures will go.
-Read for fun. I checked out the second Hunger Games book!
-Family time, maybe a movie night?

 

Dear Josh,

We’ve made it! YOUR LAST YEAR OF SEMINARY HAS BEGUN. It is always a stressful transition for us at the beginning of a semester, but I feel like we have learned so much doing this together. I pray that despite the stress, deadlines, un-met expectations, late nights, and blocked-off weekends, you enjoy it. I pray that you soak up all you can, filling your toolbox with things you can use in the future. I pray that we’re able to learn and grow together, and that the Lord uses our investment in each other and in seminary to glorify Him.
Meanwhile, be patient with me… I struggle with these transitions. Communicate what you need, and communicate your expectations. Most importantly, take your studies seriously. I’m not working full time for you to goof off. 😉
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New Keys!

I have a crazy story for you. (It is not really crazy, it’s just a God story.)
12 days ago, we found out we had to move.
12 days ago, I cried my eyes out, and it was followed my anger.
The apartment we thought we were definitely getting fell through.
I cried my eyes out. I was angry.

Last week, while we waiting for an answer about the apartment, we saw a house for sale. We stopped and looked, and I dreamed about buying this house. But… it was for sale, and we didn’t want to buy.
Fast forward: Tuesday. We had several places on our list to check out. Josh said, “hey- that house on W Oak? It’s for Rent.” I -distinctly remembering looking it up online and dreaming about it- and then dismissing the dream- said (with irritation) “NO, it’s for SALE… and we don’t want to BUY a house.” Josh said, “Honey. I saw the For Rent sign. It’s for Rent!”
I…. said nothing because my jaw was hanging open.

Josh called on Tuesday evening, and we went to see the house on Wednesday evening. It is exactly what we wanted and needed. It is the location we wanted, it has the space/privacy we wanted, it even has the kitchen that I wanted. All in all, we are SO MUCH happier with this place… it blows the S Main Apartment out of the water.

Our new landlord, Joel, bought the house in the last week, and was painting it when we called on Tuesday. We were the first people to call, the first to see it, and we are signing the lease tonight. We couldn’t have felt more peace about the landlord- who is a cop, and everything he said felt so genuine and he feels so trustworthy and honest.

So, I was super upset that the apartment fell through… but while we were waiting for an answer, Joel was buying this house. And when we found out we needed a new place to live, Joel closed on it and put it up for rent.

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Don’t even TRY to tell me that this is not a God thing. 

Anyway, tonight we are signing the lease, paying the deposit, and getting the keys! We’re hoping to be completely out of our current place on August 9th. I’m so excited to clean the new place and start moving in. 😀

Closed Doors

Unfortunately, the place we applied to last week fell through. In one sense, I am relieved because the kitchen was tiny, filthy, and like my worst culinary nightmare. We have called a ton of places, which my wonderful husband has taken point on, and we’re making some progress. Meanwhile, I’m trying to limit the number of searches I do per day. It is SO easy to become obsessive and hysterical because we’re not finding a place as quickly as we want. Our moving date has probably been pushed back, which means we may have to face the chaos of moving while Josh is in school… again.

This weekend, I went through a ton of our stuff and purged things we don’t need. Of course… I was picturing us living in the apartment that had almost NO closet space, so that was a great motivation. Nevertheless, I am not sorry I purged. I am not sorry I spent a day scanning college notes so that I could throw out the heavy binders. I am not sorry that Aaron and I watched Downton Abbey all day. It was a good weekend, I kept busy, but it was also a hard weekend. I missed Josh. I needed him here, and I needed to process all the thoughts/emotions/struggles, but he couldn’t be here.

There are things to be thankful for. I am getting a huge bonus from work, which will definitely cover our moving costs, the loan payment we wanted to make, and any application fees. I got rid of a ton of stuff that we didn’t need and now we don’t have to carry it! We are going to the beach next weekend. There will be a break, and there will be rest. The raises I have gotten since Aaron moved in mean that we can afford to pay a higher rent. We are in a better financial position now than December.

I am seriously so thankful for my job. My boss has been so understanding and so compassionate about our housing crisis, and I’ve been able to leave work early to look at places. Yesterday we knocked out a lot of options, and also found one that we really like… we’re going to view it tomorrow. It’s a little further out than we wanted, but it seems like a really really good situation.

 

Dear Josh,

This process has been such a challenge. This YEAR has been such a challenge. As you know, I’ve been struggling to see the positives, and the ways God has provided. It has been so easy to focus on the challenges of the past few months (years). Thank you for listening to all my processing, for holding me in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep, and for taking point on contacting people about rentals. I love you, and I don’t understand why we have to move, but I’m trying to view it as an opportunity to trust God together, and learn to follow where He leads. Forgive me, and lovingly correct me, when I lose perspective.

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Mono and OUR NEW HOME

At this point, I am quite behind on my blogging. I have a great excuse though– mono. Nevertheless, a lot has happened in the past week so I’ll catch you up.

Friday, 17th. Friday, was a long and hard day at work. I gave it all I had, but I felt like crap. After a long day, I came home to my sweet husband my sister in law Kaity! Those two dears went straight to Walmart with me to get some more cough drops and things from my “sicko” list. We had leftover lasagna, played Cacassone, and enjoyed being together.

Saturday, 18th. We took the morning really easy… I had a really hard time sleeping, and Saturday I hit a wall of exhaustion. We made breakfast, played games, showed Kaity what we hoped our new place, and then we went to Raleighwood to see Malificent! The movie was sooo good… but Kaity and I were a little rusty on our Sleeping Beauty. (Actually- I don’t think Kaity had ever seen it!) So when we got home, Josh did some dishes and Kaity and I watched Sleeping Beauty. We had planned to do Steak and Shake for dinner, but the movie got out at 4:30 and I didn’t feel good… so changed that plan. We ended up getting Chinese food for dinner, which we never do, and hung out. The night was long and miserable. I woke Josh up, crying, because I was in so much pain and SO tired. In that moment- I’m sure Josh felt helpless and I felt like I would be sick forever- we got some awesome news. Our application for the townhome was approved! It was SO comforting, and it felt like God was saying “See? I’m taking care of you.”

Sunday, 19th. Sunday was the worst day, health-wise, of the entire mono saga. My throat, lymph nodes, and tonsils were so sore and swollen that I could barely open my mouth, and could barely swallow. It hurt to talk, but that didn’t matter because my voice was gone anyway! I don’t even want to write about this day… so let’s say it was miserable… there was lots of crying… and Josh and Kaity are saints. Also, I bought some spray for my throat that numbs… and I was terrified to try it because it’s cherry flavor. BLEEEECK. So, in an act of solidarity, Josh tried it too. I almost died laughing from the way he reacted to it numbed his tongue! (I tried it and it didn’t taste that bad… but I sprayed my tongue too.)

Monday, 20th. I stayed home. All day. And did nothing but watch Netflix. I felt like a bum. It still hurt to talk so I wrote everything out to Josh. BUT I had gotten sleep. Blessed sleep. And I napped a lot of the day. Also I watched Cupcake Wars and might have cried because I wanted to eat a cupcake but I was too tired to make them, and still too swollen to eat them. Agh.

Tuesday, 21st. I stayed home again and spent another day watching Netflix. I felt so much better, night and day from Sunday, that I went to growth group and EVEN ATE REAL FOOD THAT WAS NOT PRIMARILY A LIQUID. Seems like nothing, but it had been over a week since that was really possible.

Also, I think it’s worth stating that one of the biggest issues was that not only did it hurt to eat, but I didn’t WANT to eat. I had no appetite, and had to make myself eat. Tuesday was the first time in 2 weeks that I even wanted to eat. Big big big step.

Wednesday, 22nd. I went back to work for a half day, arriving for the staff meeting, and got teased my all my co-workers (all guys) for having mono. I definitely wanted to run away when I saw my desk covered in paper, my phone flashing with voicemails, and my email inbox overflowing. Regardless, I left by 12:30 and was home- back on the couch- by 1. I was SO thankful I decided to do a half day.

Thursday, 23rd. I did the morning at work and spent the afternoon crafting/sitting on the couch. I signed up as a vendor for the SEBTS craft sale on November 1st, if you forgot… before I got mono. That seriously cramped my crafting style for 2-3 weeks, so I had to really bring it this week. Our friends brought us dinner, which was a huuuge blessing.

Friday, 24th. I did the morning at work and had a lunch date with my love at Olive Garden. Those are a rare occurrence, so we seized the opportunity! I spend the afternoon crafting/watching Netflix as per usual.

Saturday, 25th. crafting. Crafting. Crafting. Everything is almost ready for the craft sale… and I feel really good about it.

Sunday, 26th. I did more for the craft sale… Josh and I planned our Halloween costume… and we talked to our landlord! Also, under my obsessive watch guiding help my husband made a batch of soup to take to work!

Monday, 27th. Today is first full day back at work in 2 weeks. I feel SO much better. I’m so thankful that I have a job where I am missed in my absence, but they also care about me as a person… and that I knew they’d understand I needed time to rest and get better. Tonight Josh and I are going to spend some time doing homework/crafts, and go meet our landlord! WE GOT THE PLACE- so we’re meeting tonight to sign the lease and make our housing deposit. I don’t think I could be more relieved or excited. I had in my mind that I would have this big blog post about it, but life is busy.

home
The Cornelissen’s home, come December!

 

Dear Josh,
Mono stunk. What didn’t stink is the stellar care you gave me. Thank you SO much for all you did… the grocery shopping, the hand holding, the bumming around with me, the water fetching, the tear drying, the encouraging, the silliness to make me laugh, sitting up in the middle of the night with me, making me gargle with salt water, peeling me away from webmd, and taking care of all the housing stuff in the midst of it all. I’m so glad you’re with me through it all- craft sales, sickness, moving… it’s only making our relationship stronger, and I’m thankful.
Also, I’m super excited about our plan when we move in…. 1. Decorate for Christmas 2. Put in Christmas movie 3. Start fire 4. Watch movie with dip, popcorn, hot chocolate. Looking forward to spending another Christmas with you, hanging our stockings on our mantle, and making a new place feel like home.

Can’t wait to come home to you at the end of this super long day. It feels like the 2nd day of school- when the initial excitement is gone and the classes seem to last forever.

Love, Mrs. Cornelissen

Mono-chromatic

Our application for the most adorable house that I totally don’t have my heart set on is out of our hands! We sent it off, along with our application fee. Super exciting!

BUT that’s not the biggest thing that has happened this week. Monday, I was feeling so terrible it was time to email Dr. Mom. She said my symptoms sounded like strep, which I’ve never had, and that I needed to go to the doctor. So when I came home, I changed into comfy clothes, brushed my teeth, and Josh took me to the minute clinic at CVS. After we waited for an hour, we finally got in and described my symptoms… and they said they wanted to do a strep test AND a mono test.

What

The strep test came back negative, so they did the mono test… which involves a simple finger prick but then I watched them squeezing the blood out of my finger as I tried to talk about how I always poke myself with needles when I’m sewing and got pretty lightheaded. For some reason my dear husband thought this was a good time to ask me if I have ever given blood to which I responded “OH HEAVENS NO, I’m NOT a big fan of fainting.” Maybe that happened before they stabbed my finger with a needle. You know… I don’t remember. It all happened pretty fast after that. They started telling me about how the spleen and liver can be enlarged… and how high impact sports could kill someone with mono… and then told me that I HAVE MONO.

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The kicker is that I came to the doctor because I felt like crap and wanted to feel better. Instead, they told me that it was worse than I thought, and that there is nothing I can do except rest (and avoid high impact sports. They told me like 10 times. I was like PEOPLE I had a hard time walking in here. I’m not running and smashing into people.). Anyway. I don’t know how long I’ve had it, but from what I have read the symptoms usually last between 4 and 6 weeks. If I’m being optimistic, I think that I’ve had it for 3… but I started really falling apart 2 weeks ago for sure.

My biggest question is HOW did I get this? No clue. I don’t share my food, drinks, etc… and I only kiss Josh, who has never had mono. So… it’s a mystery to me. But I am relieved that it’s mono, not strep. When I thought it could be strep, all I did was think about those precious kids I was snuggling with and composing an email to our church’s childcare coordinator. Also can we talk about the strep test? She made me sit on my hands, which I didn’t understand until she did the test and then I was glad I was sitting on my hands because I wanted to punch her in the face. Good call, Doctor Deborah. (No really her name was Deborah.)

Sidebar: I have not had the best interactions with Deborahs. A Deborah pierced my ears for the first time and they got CRAZY infected, and not a Deborah tried to gag me with a cotton swab and then told me I have mono. What’s with this, Deborahs?

Josh took me to get some “I’m sorry you feel like crap” Chick-fil-a for dinner, and I collapsed on the couch, which has happened a lot lately, but this time feeling like I had permission to be tired, and that it was ok to do nothing. (Also I may have started crying because I thought Josh wouldn’t kiss me because he could get mono. But I still got a kiss goodnight. We laugh in the face of danger.)

Monday night, I woke up at 4 am. I wish I could say I went back to sleep, but I never did. I kept asking “why? Why right now?” And this is the only thing I can come up with… I have a hard time admitting I can’t do something, and I have an even harder time asking someone to do something for me. That even includes Josh. I have a hard time asking him to do things for me, which he knows. So I’m praying that in this time I feel so worn and helpless, that I am able to learn to depend more on Josh as a teammate.

Tuesday, I finally got some relief from my sandpaper sore throat. No, not by natural means… by these bad tasting weird invention cough drops that numb my entire face. Ok, fine just my mouth and throat… but boy it felt weird. I answered the phone and I was legitimately concerned I would have no control over my tongue.

I spent the entire day trying to decide whether or not to go to growth group. Pros for going, I get to see my friends. It would be encouraging. I get to talk about Jesus and focus on something other than how awful I feel. Cons, being there means I’m not sleeping. I ended up going. And I’m so glad I did. We talked about the good Samaritan, and I had never realized (until I was pointing it out) that the passage started with focusing on loving God, and ended with mercy. Without experiencing God’s mercy, is it possible to show mercy to others? The mercy that the good Samaritan showed seems to hinge on loving God, and I don’t think that is emphasized when the passage is taught… the emphasis is usually “look at what this guy did, and we should do the same thing,” without looking at the REASON he did it.

Wednesday, it is a fabulously stormy day. We had a company meeting this morning, and all the techs were complaining about the rain… but I get to sit inside and watch the rain through my wall of windows. Bring on the thunder. (As long as the storm doesn’t knock out my email.) Also, I have considered implementing a complaint jar. Every time someone complains I get a dollar. I would be rich. I could buy a sewing machine!

We submitted the application to the dream town home yesterday, and have received several emails from the owner (even though she’s on vacation… in ITALY). So that’s encouraging.

“Moving” on… today I feel like crap. I don’t want to move, I don’t want to think, I don’t even want to swallow if we’re being real. But I’m thankful for a job where I get to mostly sit all day. I’m thankful for our friends that are bringing us dinner tonight. I’m thankful for the rain. I’m thankful for my sweet husband who lets me put all my weight on him while I’m walking because I’m so tired, and for the way he has selflessly served me, making my lunches, bringing me things so I don’t have to get up, and making me laugh. (Since the doctor told me my spleen could be enlarged, every time I laugh I hold my side and say “Oh no! MY SPLEEN!” Maybe I should stop doing that since I actually do hurt sometimes, and then laughing more makes it worse.)

 

 

Dear Josh,

Thanks for going to the doctor with me. Thank you for laughing with me. (I love your charts… “Sitting on the couch and making other people get you stuff… lazy*
*unless you have mono)
You have picked up so much slack this week, doing the grocery shopping, the cleaning, cooking, getting me things, sleeping in the other room so I can sleep through the night without you waking me up. This is the first real sickness we’ve encountered since being married (unless you count that cold I had in the spring), and I am so thankful for the way you’ve taken care of me.

I’m also really excited that you’re so excited about the town home. It’s nice that we can actually picture ourselves living somewhere else, and making it a new home. I can’t wait to see you tonight. Also, I kind of want to watch The Emperor’s New Groove.

Love, Mrs. Cornelissen

Dreaming of a Dishwasher

Friday night came earlier than expected. My boss saw me sitting at my desk, counting down the seconds until 5pm and asked me if I was bored. As I try to be honest, I had finished all the work I could possibly do at 4, and it was 4:30. I spend a half hour trying not to blatantly stare at the clock. So I said, yes I’m bored. He responded “if you don’t have anything to do, go home! It’s been a long week and I know you don’t feel good.” (Yes, I felt like crap all week and on top of that we have two less people in our office because they quit. And I keep getting nasty phone calls about things they were supposed to do and didn’t.) So instead of leaving work at 5 on Friday, I got HOME at 5 on Friday… which is when Josh got off work, so we got to be together a whole 30 minutes early. Happy Friday to ME!!!

We had frozen pizza, took a meal to a sick friend, I did some sewing, and we watched a lot of Parks and Rec.

 

Saturday, I tried to sleep in but didn’t have much success. Josh got those heavenly donuts, and I didn’t change out of my pajamas until after noon. That’s the dream. (We’re going to leave out the part that the reason I didn’t change out of my pajamas is because I felt so sore it hurt to reach to the coffee table to get my water. Yeah.)

At 2pm, we went to view a townhouse/duplex situation that we really like. It’s about 3 miles from SEBTS, on a quiet road, in a wooded area, with plenty of parking. The home itself is completely renovated… hardwood floors downstairs, carpet upstairs. A REAL LIFE SIZE OVEN. A dishwasher. An open floor plan downstairs, 1 and ½ bath, 2 bedrooms, plenty of closet space, a small front porch and a big back porch, yard work and water included in rent… I love it. Also, the guy showing it to us told us some probably confidential information about the other people who have applied, so basically we know we’re the best candidates. I can’t lie. I’ve been shopping for kitchen tables and Pinteresting “how to decorate a mantle” (did I mention there is a fireplace?). I want this to be it. I want the search to be over. I know that if this is where we’re supposed to be, it will happen…. it just scares me how much I love this place. So, pray that we will have peace as we wait to hear, and pray that if this isn’t the place for us that we won’t be discouraged.

 

We spent the rest of Saturday spending time together and then we played board games with our friends, Tom & Charissa. It was supposed to be a guys/girls night but people couldn’t make it… so it turned into a couples night. Which was so fun. I’m so thankful for these friends.

 

Sunday, after a rough night of sleep, we got to church bright and early for nursery duty! Yes, I had to change six diapers. Honestly, it was a fair trade for being able to spend a couple of hours with those kids. I used to work in child care, and I was a nanny, and I was also a behavioral therapist… kid-centered jobs. Now I work with a bunch of people who behave like children. I’ve missed the ACTUAL children. The little girl I held spilled apple juice all over me, and I was her safety zone. If I even thought about putting her down, her world crumbled apart. One day we’ll have our own kids… meanwhile, the nursery was awesome.

 

Sunday afternoon, I watched the Browns victoriously smash the Steelers into the ground and send them home crying. I think Josh enjoyed this because I’m not good at trash talking at all but was determined to hurl insults at the tv screen, and for the obvious reason, I was watching football with him. That’s a big deal. I was actually watching it. After that excitement, I went to catch up on a tv show and left Josh to study for Greek (his midterm is on Wednesday). Then we went to the store to buy soup (my throat is killing me) and Josh made me grilled cheese, and we watched Alias until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore (umm that was until 8, and then I forced myself to stay up until 9 so I wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night).

 

My sweetheart made my lunch, so I got to sleep a little later than normal, and now I’m at work.  We’re submitting the application for the townhouse today or tomorrow, so that’s super exciting. Tonight we’re having Cincinnati chili and I will be chugging hot tea. Josh reminded me I usually get sick twice a year (I said “How do YOU know?” He looked at me, and said lovingly “I’ve known you for three years. It’s like clockwork.”), so I guess I’m doing my sick time. Hopefully it will pass soon. And hopefully the campus leaf blowers will stop blowing leaves outside my window at 6:20 am. It would really be nice if I could wake up to my alarm, not a leaf blower. Thanks.


Dear Josh,

I am so thankful for you, and the way you have taken care of me this week. I know I haven’t been a delight to take care of, but you have been so sweet. Thanks for sitting around with me and doing things for me because I felt so crappy.

Also, I am super excited that we may have found our new home. It’s SO exciting that you loved it as much as I did!!! It feels like such a huge step, and I am still sad about moving out of our first home, but there are only bigger and better things waiting.

And… I loved seeing you make all those kids laugh. My favorite part was when you crawled around and they all followed you in a line, giggling.


Love, Mrs. Cornelissen

Fog

This week has been a little foggy. Mostly because I’ve been on sinus and allergy medicine. Last night I dreamed I was Sydney Bristow. It was pretty awesome until I had to smash someone’s face in with a frying pan (I think I was also thinking about Tangled last night).

 

Despite being sick, I managed to create a painting, and make 7 sets of coasters for the upcoming craft sale.

 

Wednesday, Josh and I enjoyed a night with our friends. Josh and the guys went out and celebrated one of the guys birthdays at this giant trampoline place (I don’t even know… but Josh has been sore ever since) and I went out for Mexican food with the girls. One of the things I will miss, when we move in December, is being within walking distance of downtown Wake Forest. It’s just adorable, and I love walking through campus. Now I’m getting sad thinking about moving…

 

Last night we went to Walmart to get the weeks necessities, and some craft supplies. We also got Chick-fil-a milkshakes to celebrate the fact that Josh got a raise! 🙂  We are so thankful for the jobs God has given us. He has provided for us in every way, but especially financially.

 

This weekend, I’m looking forward to rest. We don’t have any big plans (except another guys/girls night tomorrow night), we did the cooking and shopping last night, and we’re not setting an alarm tomorrow morning.

 

It’s been a long week of not feeling good, and not spending a ton of time with Josh… so I’m excited about spending time with him. And doing things I want to do, not just things I HAVE to do (like going to work).

 

This is also my mom’s birthday! If I say too much I’ll cry because I miss her… but I am so thankful for her and the example she has been for me. I hope to become as loving of a wife, as joyful a mother, and as good a friend as she is. Not even to mention that I hope to know, love, and serve the Lord as faithfully as she does. My mom is just the bomb. Happy Birthday, Mom. I’m glad you’re a superhero so you’re going to live forever.

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Just look at that mom, being the best mom. Even though she’s reading the same Nursery Rhyme book for the millionth time and holding a wiggle worm.

Dear Josh,

I started worrying about moving today. Instead, I stopped and thanked God for all the ways He has provided and proven Himself faithful since we’ve gotten married.

Tonight I might be cutting out a hedgehog for Elise’s pillow. I might be painting a canvas. But I want to be sitting right next to you on our big comfy couch.

I hope this day goes by fast.


Love, Mrs. Cornelissen

Hunting

This weekend didn’t happen exactly like I thought it would. Friday night we didn’t eat a nicely put together meal like I envisioned. We watched Alias and Parks and Rec. I felt wiped out from a long week.

Saturday we went across the street to the SEBTS yard sale (got a book Josh has been wanting, some movies, and a hanging shelf for our games-update: it doesn’t actually fit in our closets… so maybe one day we can use it!). Then we were having so much fun we kept yardsaling. We even stumbled across a new donut heaven- Daylight Donuts- it is like the Main Street Grille but EMPTY. Seriously, Wake Forest has donuts figured out. I’m not sure we’ll ever go back to Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme. Buttermilk donuts have changed our lives (another example why Josh deemed it critical for me to get new walking shoes). We weren’t terribly successful in our yard saling… I got a pair of Danskos, but that’s really about it.

 

After we inhaled “calmy enjoyed” our donuts (and went to about 10 yard sales), we realized two things: (1) we needed to eat something more substantial, and (2) we may as well go shoe shopping while we were out.

So we got Chick-fil-a biscuits and headed to Dick’s Sporting Goods.

 

As I have mentioned before, shoe shopping is actually a difficult task for me. (And being confronted with a display wall of neon colored tennis shoes, as well as 15 rows didn’t make it easier… lets say someone got a little panicked.) Somehow Josh found the perfect shoes for me, in fact he found TWO perfect pairs. And he made me get both so I feel spoiled. (And a fellow shopper laughed when I exclaimed, with a little bit of disgust, “Josh, explain to me how YOU found the perfect shoes for me, and all the ones I tried were awful. That’s just obnoxious! …. thank you.”)

 

After another discombobulated meal, Josh went to do his homework, and I actually folded the entire pile of clothes in my room (on Sunday they actually got put into drawers.) Then I spent a LONG time looking at local rentals. We drove by a few, and had a really long conversation/meltdown/getting-on-the-same-page session.
We found this house, and I just think it’s adorable. However, it’s at the top of our budget, involves a lot of upkeep responsibility and doing a lot of maintenance (for goodness sake we’re renters not home owners), and I wasn’t wild about all the agreement I read… it really looked for every possible chance to blame the renters for problems and protected the owners of the house. So, even though it looks perfect we have to pass. Growing up. Making the hard choices.

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Josh and I have been living in a 575 square ft apartment. While that may seem small, I have LOVED it. My only complaint is that I am out of wall space to hang things. If that’s my biggest complaint in life, I think I’m doing ok.

I’m a pretty sappy, sentimental person… and the thought of moving out of our first little home is sad.

This is the place we had our first Christmas… the place I’ve decorated, made extremely functional, the place we’ve hosted friends and family, my safe-haven at the end of every long and difficult day, the place we got snowed in for days and we drove ourselves crazy singing songs from Frozen even though we hadn’t seen it yet… the place I lit my first dish towel on fire (that was like last week), made my first (and only, honestly) miserable failure of a meal… the place we’ve had all our major fights, and made up again. This tiny place has seen us through it all. And it’s sad to leave the closets. I mean the apartment, as a whole. (But the closets are amazing.)

 

For many reasons, we have decided to move.

-We have free wifi- but the campus internet stinks.

-If we have 4 people over, it’s hard to breathe, and forget moving. We had my family (5 people + me and Josh + my grandparents over, total= 9 people) and it felt like those times we used to take all piled into the van when the boys got big and we all felt claustrophobic and wanted to kill each other…. on the way to church. Just kidding, I meant roadtrips…. but we did fight a lot on the way to church too. Rabbit trail. What was I talking about?

-My oven is big enough for ONE pan- unless I take that small round one, and the small square one, and put them in JUST RIGHT.

-I am convinced our upstairs neighbors are elephants.

-We have enough space for 2 people to stay with us, on the sleeper sofa… which works, as long as we have cleaned the apartment spotless so that we can fit the coffee table between the closet door and the armchair in our bedroom in front of the 3 bookshelves.

Isolated, these reasons are almost insignificant. But combine the qualities of my extraverted husband (I call him Mr. Social) and my love for feeding people and hosting (I didn’t know I was so into hospitality), and we have outgrown this tiny little place with our big love for people.

I am a seasoned hunter.

Clothes. Deals. Recipes. Perfect gifts.

Did you think I was talking about animals? Gross.

But I’ve never hunted for a place to live.

 

There are so many things to consider.

The cost of the move, increased rent, location, apartment/townhome/house?, 2 bedrooms? 3?, would living by the train tracks really be that bad?, when do we start inquiring?, what if we don’t find a place?

It is overwhelming.

 

Saturday night was pretty intense. I had a bad dream, and was up for a couple of hours, scared, crying, worried that we wouldn’t be able to find a place, that I’m not capable of doing this… and my sweet husband sat up with me and reminded me that we’ve only been married for 9 months- that I need to give myself some grace, and that we’re a team. He did such a good job of calming all my fears.

Unfortunately it continued into Sunday.

I’ve been struggling a lot with fear and anxiety, especially this weekend. All weekend, I felt under attack- all my fears, insecurities, etc seemed to come up. In the middle of the night, I remembered a song I grew up hearing by Steve Green. “When I am afraid, I will trust in you, I will trust in you, I will trust in you… when I am afraid I will trust in you, in God whose word I praise.” It is so easy to focus on how hard this is, and how unprepared I feel. I’m trying to focus, instead, on how BIG God is, and how able He is to handle this.

 

 

Josh,

I am so glad I don’t have to do any of this by myself. I’m so thankful for the year we’ve had in our tiny apartment, and I’m also thankful that we’re outgrowing it because of our love for people. I think every couple should have to live in such a tiny space starting out… it has been such a good team building exercise for us- and I’m glad we’ve learned to respect each other’s space while sharing such close quarters.

I’m thankful that we haven’t stretched our finances during our first year of marriage by living in a bigger place. Our apartment has been such a blessing, with the fixed rent. Although moving is scary, we’ve already started learning how to trust God to provide for all our needs, and we have always had what we needed- even in times of unemployment, a totaled car, and times of sorrow. Thank you for giving me grace and reminding me that we’re still learning how to do life together. Yes, there have been a lot of life-changes this year, and I went to living with my family to being on our own. That’s a big deal, and most days I feel I’m not doing a good job. Keep telling me I’m doing a good job… and keep working with me to improve our communication and team vision.

I love you. Thanks for being on the greatest adventure- LIFE- with me.

Love, Mrs. Cornelissen