Cold Coffee

I drink cold coffee.

There are a lot of awful things people like to tell joyful expectant mothers. “Take a shower. Sleep. Go on a date. Enjoy it all now, because once that baby comes it’ll never happen again.”

Frankly, it’s BS. That’s not motherhood, that’s being a victim of your children. (But that’s a soap box for another time). One of the things I heard over and over or saw posted on Instagram was “I never have hot coffee anymore,” and “Look at this mug of coffee I’ve microwaved 1,000 times and still not finished this morning.” I pictured motherhood as a graveyard of everything I once loved. Here, a tombstone for hot showers. There, a deep conversation with a friend. And let’s not forget the tombstone for hot coffee, may she rest in peace.

You know what has surprised me? I drink cold coffee almost every day… but not because I don’t have the opportunity to drink it hot. If I really wanted to drink hot coffee, I could make it happen. Caleb hasn’t stolen the luxury of a hot cup o’ joe. Instead, I choose moments with him over hot coffee.

Morning is Caleb’s best time of day. I shower before he wakes up (yes, it’s possible to be a mother and a clean human… and no, I’m not Wonder Woman), and by the time he wakes up I’m excited to start our day together. He greets me with smiles, holds my hand as he chugs his morning bottle, and wants to snuggle before he wants to play. While he plays, I usually get my coffee… and then he starts to “talk.” Inevitably, as soon I sit down on my love seat with my steaming cup, Caleb looks up at me from his play-mat and he wants to interact. He squawks at me, raising his eyebrows as he lifts his arms and legs simultaneously as if he’s saying “look what I can do!” I set my mug down on a coaster to tell him how strong he is, and to bring a smile to his face with his favorite song, a silly face, or a crinkle of his favorite toy. I trade my hot coffee for belly laughs… and that’s a trade I am willing to make every day.

This morning as I drank my chilled coffee, I thought “I remember when I drank hot coffee every day… and man I do not miss it.” To those who have never had the opportunity to trade hot coffee for baby belly laughs, I’m sorry. You’re missing way more than I am.

I drink cold coffee. Not iced coffee, but once-was-hot, but now-is-not coffee. And one day, when he’s not bursting with excitement to interrupt my morning cup of coffee, I’ll probably cry, because I’ll remember these precious moments and want them back.

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