Last night I hit a new low in this process. Josh and I were filling out forms to enroll in my company’s 401k plan (which seems crazy since we just found out we’re moving and we may have an increase in rent but moving on), and I literally broke down sobbing because it asked for my legal address.
Have I mentioned that I am like insanely sleep deprived? Every time I sleep I have nightmares. This morning, my alarm went off as I was getting kidnapped.
I know that a lot of this stress is because we have gotten DAILY emails from our current landlady asking for our plans, and our timetable. I mean… it hasn’t been a week. Part of it is because I am so annoyed that people would be upset at me and not even talk to me about it. Part of it is because I had finally hung all my pictures and finally accepted the bathtub drain will always be slow, and the kitchen will never grow.
I have really thrown myself into this packing/purging process, and I think it’s good. It is also tricky because for some reason I dismantled my spice racks, and that made seasoning our pasta sauce tricky last night. Speaking of- we had spaghetti last night. The sauce was so chock full of veggies (zucchini, onion, green pepper) and sausage it was like a dream. There is something so simple and so delicious about spaghetti.
Weekend plans? Going through more closets, drawers, cabinets, etc and purging. Packing. Trying to calm the heck down. Searching for newly posted rental homes. Downton Abbey with Aaron. At least one margarita. Maybe a girls night. Definitely sleeping. Also, missing Josh- he’s going to Baltimore for a soccer thing.
Tonight we’re going to call and see where we are in the process with the apartment we looked at. Obviously I’m struggling with this process, and I am discouraged that there are so few options. I know we’re not homeless, and I know that we do have the right to stay here for now. We’re not going to be thrown on the street…. but it feels like it. I’m trying to speak truth to myself, though I’m struggling to hear and believe it.