First off, Friday was my first Chipotle experience… and I must admit, it was wonderful. Moes is still wonderful, but Chipotle? I get the hype.
Friday night, the guys made dinner. Shrimp fried rice, salad, and french bread. Good job, guys! They did such a good job planning, budgeting, and executing.
I must say… weekends are hard. I am a verbal processor, and I am also a solitary processor. If I don’t have time to sit, think and process, alone, then eventually it all comes in a flood… usually a flood of tears. Usually it happens on the weekend. I feel invaded, I feel overwhelmed, I feel torn by things I need to do, and things I want to do. Saturday it all flooded. I was so angry, I was so overwhelmed, I was so disappointed, and had to make a lot of apologies. We had a late late dinner… of corn dogs.
I am trying to identify ways to improve… and I probably had too long and ambitious of a to-do list. I probably should have asked for more help.
Weeknights are easy. I’m home for such a short amount of time. If I need space, I go to my room. Weekends are different. There’s a lot more noise… and I need quiet to recharge. There’s a lot more instruction needed, and there’s a lot of times I have to confront. It’s hard not to focus on what we’ve lost, and easy to become resentful and angry. Lord, change my heart.
Sunday, we went to church, cleaned the house, the guys played frisbee, and we had a party. Chips and salsa, cookie dip with graham crackers, ranch pockets, pigs in blankets… oh my. And I got to hang with my little friend Evie. Gosh. Sometimes you just need to play with a 1 year old.
It’s a rainy Monday, and I have begun the gradual increase of my Fitbit goal.
I’m claiming some time tonight to do some things I want to do.
I am trying to find time for everything, and it feels like either I don’t have enough energy (emotional or physical), or I don’t have enough time. What are my limits? Should I be allowed to admit them? How much do I push through?
I still haven’t had my review at work… and that is frustrating me.
I made WAY too much salsa for the party. WAY too much.
Thank you for being on my team. These past couple of weeks have been a roller coaster, good times, hard times, tears, and laughter. It feels like every step we take forward means we have to take two steps back.
I’m sorry for the way I handled- or didn’t handle- my emotions this weekend. I’m sorry how small things got blown way out of proportion, and how victories were overlooked.
I love you. Thanks for bragging on me, letting me process, and for making dinner when I can’t get it together.
Love, Mrs. Cornelissen