Fall-ing Behind

Monday night I got pretty overwhelmed with all that has to be done by Christmas. Traveling, packing, moving, finishing gifts for people, dinners to be made, shopping to be done….
So I packed 2 boxes. I decided that if I pack at least a box a day for a while, that will make me feel like I’m making progress, plus when we get our keys in a few weeks (as early as 2 weeks from now!), I will have some boxes ready to start taking over. Today I filled out my Christmas vacation request, and was almost shocked that a month from now we’ll be moving, and at Christmas we’ll be leaving from our new home.
This semester has been HARD. I’m having a hard time enjoying my favorite season, Fall, and the impending holidays, with the tunnel vision I’ve had. Just get to December. I don’t want to just “get through” life, which is one of the reasons I started blogging, and trying to name things I’m thankful for.

Tuesday was a much better day at work, though equally busy. (Also my voice is now all over our company’s voice mail messages as I had to redo them, and recorded each one about 3 times because I kept messing up.)

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Most days it’s dark by the time I get home… this was too beautiful not to capture.

I sat and stared at the tree across the parking lot from my desk… I just sat and stared at it… the sun illuminating the variety of colors, the greens, golds, and reds… the thinning out branches swaying in the wind. Yes, this is a busy time… but we as people weren’t created just to check things off an impressive to-do list, go home, lay on the couch in exhaustion, and go to be early. I believe we should use our time wisely, but we are also created with the purpose of glorifying God and enjoying Him forever. My takeaway: I need to look at more trees and watch more sunsets. I need to enjoy God and His creation.

I took boxes home from work, didn’t pack any, and instead worried about the budget. Went to Growth Group, came home, collapsed on my bed, and wished I could stay up all night to enjoy just being home.

Today, I’m feeling so many things. I did SO much work the last 2 days, picking up slack, and as Josh says, doing in 2.5 days what most people take 2 weeks to do. I’m feeling stretched to the max. There are so many things fighting for my attention; work, packing, projects I need to finish, time with my husband, time with my friends, staying in touch with family… I don’t feel like I’m doing anything well. How can I enjoy God today? I’m not sure, but I just started crying at my desk. I know He has everything under control, but I wish He would share the game plan. From where I’m sitting, everything takes money and time that I don’t seem to have… and I don’t see a finish line.

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The bright spot of my work day

5 things I’m thankful for:

1) Free moving boxes
2) Yellow Daisies
3) Date nights
4) My haircut
5) Spoons (Mom, I hope that made you laugh)

 

I do not post this looking for pity, but because it gives you understanding in how to pray for us. Keep praying for us; for peace, and for God to provide the things we need for our new house. 

 

Dear Josh,

Thank you for getting me happy flowers, and making me breakfast. It means so much to me that you’re doing special things to show me that I’m important, and worth time in your crazy day. I’m so very thankful we have a date night- lasanga, coming up with a game plan, and packing our 1-2 boxes together. 🙂 Only 6 hours until I’ll be home! Until then I will be listening to happy music, trying not to cry, and praying you have a super productive day.
Starbucks has 2 for 1 holidays drinks right now… want to get one and walk by the river? Hehe just kidding. I know you hate coffee. I got to tell someone at work about our first date (3 years ago on the 19th).
I love you. Please teleport here and have lunch with me.

Love, Mrs. Cornelissen

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One thought on “Fall-ing Behind

  1. I feel like so many times people would advise we, as bloggers, to not post things like this post, the ones that are more in the moment and reveal a broken side, even though it may just be a momentary break down, but I can’t help but think that posts like these are some of the best ones to write/post/read. They are the ones you look back on when you are in a clearer state of mind and think, ‘hmm, maybe I shouldn’t have written out at such an overwhelmed time’….but EVERYONE has those moments, and I think being able to look back on posts like this and the surrounding ones and see how you are able to come out of a time of trouble is even more encouraging at times then just keeping a record of the good times! Even the writing out of a post like this can be therapeutic and bring a bit more perspective and peace of mind!
    I can certainly relate to the piling on of work, and holidays, and packing/moving, and trying to keep the budget/shopping/chores etc in order while you are attempting to situate everything else and not let things fall to the wayside, its not a great combination of expectations and pressure, but with enough hot chocolate, hugs from husbands, holiday cheer, and the grace and peace of Jesus we’ll make it through! 😀

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