Marshmallows

Wednesday night, I stopped at the store on the way home to get some things to make me feel better (mints, marshmallows, Tylenol, popsicles). I know. Marshmallows? Yes. They are soft. When I eat them it doesn’t feel like I’m swallowing glass. Marshmallows are like my new best friend.

Our friends,  Tom and Charissa, brought us dinner. Seriously, we were so spoiled and blessed. Lasagna, salad, rolls and cookies. We were going to play board games (because the let us borrow Carcassonne!) but I was working on a pillow case for Elise… and I reaaally wanted to watch The Emperors New Groove (apparently what Miss Mono wants, Miss Mono gets). Also, I finally got the things I ordered from Target with my monthly “Deborah fun money” as I call it… I got a black maxi dress (and it is actually the right length- YAY Target Petites!) and my sweet husband did the laundry so I could wear it to work.

On another note, I kinda snapped at work on Wednesday when I got a utility bill with an added charge because they had to come out and tell us that if we didn’t pay our bill we were going to have the service shut off. We had that visit on Monday. Well on Monday I called to inform them that we were paid in full, and then they realized that we DID pay, but they applied our payment to the wrong account. (NOT MY PROBLEM.) Anyway, I got this months bill on Wednesday. So I called to say what the heck we are not paying for your mistake. Maybe it’s because I’m not only tired of feeling like crap, but I am so tired of dealing with crap. I let that poor lady have it. (“We pay you for ____, not for making trips out to tell us we haven’t paid a bill that we DID pay.”) Have I mentioned that I basically hate talking because my throat hurts? Yeah. Maybe that’s why I was double mad at that poor lady. (PS she put me on hold to “research our account” for 30 minutes and said she’d call me back. That was 2 days ago.)

Thursday morning, I was feeling super crummy. I didn’t sleep well through the night, and felt really trapped by our financial situation. (If I don’t go to work I either don’t get paid, or I am using up my vacation time which I need for Thanksgiving/Christmas/Sims family vacation 2015). As I was driving to work, I was trying to find something to be thankful for, and started looking at the glorious sunrise. The fluffy clouds were framed by a sky bursting with pink and yellow… and then I saw a little deer get hit. All the traffic stopped and the deer struggled for life and eventually got into the grass. Then I was thankful I didn’t hit the deer… and focused very intently on driving.

At work, I numbed my throat and took pain killers, which got me through the morning. Also, tea. Tea is my favorite. The guys have been understanding that I’m tired, that I can’t lift things, and generally feel terrible, and they have helped me instead of getting irritated when I ask for help. It is humbling, asking for help, but also makes it possible for me to be at work.

Thursday night I was up for hours. Friday morning I was exhausted. And late to work. (Which was totally cool because my boss knows that I am super sick and I warned him I might not be able to get out of bed/be on time and I’d text him.) I was SO discouraged coming into work, exhausted from not sleeping well 2 nights in a row, and I was surprised to find that my friend Courtney had left a bag of tea and cocoa on my desk. Day= made.

Tonight, my sister-in-law is coming to visit! I’m excited that she’s coming because I have something to look forward to. 🙂 I warned her we’re not going hiking, since walking to my car is a struggle, and will probably be sitting around a lot. I’m struggling to get real food down… my throat is so swollen and tender. Not really sure how I’m going to get through this day… or how I’m going to drive home. It’s gotta get better, right? We have another “sicko shopping list” (yogurt, sherbet, ice cream- you know, the staples) and Josh is going to help me make chicken noodle soup.

 

Dear Josh,

If you get sick I’m just going to cry. Speaking of crying, thanks for letting me cry and thanks for comforting me. I’m so thankful for the safe haven of our home, where I don’t have to take care of myself, or say I’m ok when I’m not, and I’m glad you don’t let me beat myself up about all the things I can’t do.

Love, Mrs. Cornelissen

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