Mono-chromatic

Our application for the most adorable house that I totally don’t have my heart set on is out of our hands! We sent it off, along with our application fee. Super exciting!

BUT that’s not the biggest thing that has happened this week. Monday, I was feeling so terrible it was time to email Dr. Mom. She said my symptoms sounded like strep, which I’ve never had, and that I needed to go to the doctor. So when I came home, I changed into comfy clothes, brushed my teeth, and Josh took me to the minute clinic at CVS. After we waited for an hour, we finally got in and described my symptoms… and they said they wanted to do a strep test AND a mono test.

What

The strep test came back negative, so they did the mono test… which involves a simple finger prick but then I watched them squeezing the blood out of my finger as I tried to talk about how I always poke myself with needles when I’m sewing and got pretty lightheaded. For some reason my dear husband thought this was a good time to ask me if I have ever given blood to which I responded “OH HEAVENS NO, I’m NOT a big fan of fainting.” Maybe that happened before they stabbed my finger with a needle. You know… I don’t remember. It all happened pretty fast after that. They started telling me about how the spleen and liver can be enlarged… and how high impact sports could kill someone with mono… and then told me that I HAVE MONO.

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The kicker is that I came to the doctor because I felt like crap and wanted to feel better. Instead, they told me that it was worse than I thought, and that there is nothing I can do except rest (and avoid high impact sports. They told me like 10 times. I was like PEOPLE I had a hard time walking in here. I’m not running and smashing into people.). Anyway. I don’t know how long I’ve had it, but from what I have read the symptoms usually last between 4 and 6 weeks. If I’m being optimistic, I think that I’ve had it for 3… but I started really falling apart 2 weeks ago for sure.

My biggest question is HOW did I get this? No clue. I don’t share my food, drinks, etc… and I only kiss Josh, who has never had mono. So… it’s a mystery to me. But I am relieved that it’s mono, not strep. When I thought it could be strep, all I did was think about those precious kids I was snuggling with and composing an email to our church’s childcare coordinator. Also can we talk about the strep test? She made me sit on my hands, which I didn’t understand until she did the test and then I was glad I was sitting on my hands because I wanted to punch her in the face. Good call, Doctor Deborah. (No really her name was Deborah.)

Sidebar: I have not had the best interactions with Deborahs. A Deborah pierced my ears for the first time and they got CRAZY infected, and not a Deborah tried to gag me with a cotton swab and then told me I have mono. What’s with this, Deborahs?

Josh took me to get some “I’m sorry you feel like crap” Chick-fil-a for dinner, and I collapsed on the couch, which has happened a lot lately, but this time feeling like I had permission to be tired, and that it was ok to do nothing. (Also I may have started crying because I thought Josh wouldn’t kiss me because he could get mono. But I still got a kiss goodnight. We laugh in the face of danger.)

Monday night, I woke up at 4 am. I wish I could say I went back to sleep, but I never did. I kept asking “why? Why right now?” And this is the only thing I can come up with… I have a hard time admitting I can’t do something, and I have an even harder time asking someone to do something for me. That even includes Josh. I have a hard time asking him to do things for me, which he knows. So I’m praying that in this time I feel so worn and helpless, that I am able to learn to depend more on Josh as a teammate.

Tuesday, I finally got some relief from my sandpaper sore throat. No, not by natural means… by these bad tasting weird invention cough drops that numb my entire face. Ok, fine just my mouth and throat… but boy it felt weird. I answered the phone and I was legitimately concerned I would have no control over my tongue.

I spent the entire day trying to decide whether or not to go to growth group. Pros for going, I get to see my friends. It would be encouraging. I get to talk about Jesus and focus on something other than how awful I feel. Cons, being there means I’m not sleeping. I ended up going. And I’m so glad I did. We talked about the good Samaritan, and I had never realized (until I was pointing it out) that the passage started with focusing on loving God, and ended with mercy. Without experiencing God’s mercy, is it possible to show mercy to others? The mercy that the good Samaritan showed seems to hinge on loving God, and I don’t think that is emphasized when the passage is taught… the emphasis is usually “look at what this guy did, and we should do the same thing,” without looking at the REASON he did it.

Wednesday, it is a fabulously stormy day. We had a company meeting this morning, and all the techs were complaining about the rain… but I get to sit inside and watch the rain through my wall of windows. Bring on the thunder. (As long as the storm doesn’t knock out my email.) Also, I have considered implementing a complaint jar. Every time someone complains I get a dollar. I would be rich. I could buy a sewing machine!

We submitted the application to the dream town home yesterday, and have received several emails from the owner (even though she’s on vacation… in ITALY). So that’s encouraging.

“Moving” on… today I feel like crap. I don’t want to move, I don’t want to think, I don’t even want to swallow if we’re being real. But I’m thankful for a job where I get to mostly sit all day. I’m thankful for our friends that are bringing us dinner tonight. I’m thankful for the rain. I’m thankful for my sweet husband who lets me put all my weight on him while I’m walking because I’m so tired, and for the way he has selflessly served me, making my lunches, bringing me things so I don’t have to get up, and making me laugh. (Since the doctor told me my spleen could be enlarged, every time I laugh I hold my side and say “Oh no! MY SPLEEN!” Maybe I should stop doing that since I actually do hurt sometimes, and then laughing more makes it worse.)

 

 

Dear Josh,

Thanks for going to the doctor with me. Thank you for laughing with me. (I love your charts… “Sitting on the couch and making other people get you stuff… lazy*
*unless you have mono)
You have picked up so much slack this week, doing the grocery shopping, the cleaning, cooking, getting me things, sleeping in the other room so I can sleep through the night without you waking me up. This is the first real sickness we’ve encountered since being married (unless you count that cold I had in the spring), and I am so thankful for the way you’ve taken care of me.

I’m also really excited that you’re so excited about the town home. It’s nice that we can actually picture ourselves living somewhere else, and making it a new home. I can’t wait to see you tonight. Also, I kind of want to watch The Emperor’s New Groove.

Love, Mrs. Cornelissen

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